Back in Uganda

I’ve been back in Uganda for a week now and wanted to post a quick update. I arrived last Friday and was greeted by two of my dear friends, Julius and Daniel. Despite a small breakdown in the Toronto airport (note to self to never fly through there again), the trip back was easy and restful.

From the minute I stepped back into Pastor’s house Friday night, it felt like I had never left. Everything was great and easy. On Saturday I stopped by the school and was overwhelmed by the warm greeting from all the kids. I definitely missed the kids when I was gone but really underestimated how wonderful it would be to see them. As I took my time to hug each one I was reminded of how truly blessed I am by these children. The truth is that the little I am able to give these children is a fraction of what they give to me. And for that I am blessed.

This entire week was absolutely wonderful. I spent almost all day everyday with the kids. I arrived at school around 8 am each day and left around 7 pm or 8 pm each night, and had I not been so exhausted I would have probably stayed a bit longer. Since school is on break right now for a few weeks there are few kids that have remained. While I miss the other kids dearly, it is nice to be able to spend quality time with the ones that are still around. This week I tried to provide a bit of structure to the kid’s day and do a few things that would help them in school. I wasn’t sure how flashcards and books would go over but they turned out to be a huge success. It is amazing to see how excited the kids are to read books, practice their math and words and color. I am reminded of how we take advantage of so many things in the US. I don’t think you could find a group of 20 kids anywhere in the US that would be occupied for hours and hours with a few flashcards, a few coloring books, crayons and books.

I think the most amazing thing that has happened this week is that through reading books with the kids, several kids that I was not close with before I left, now won’t leave my side. I was here for over four months before I went home and now in one week I have become close with kids I really never knew before. God is so good. I love that in one week I have developed new relationships with kids, and been able to spend hours upon hours listening to them read, watch them color beautiful pictures and practice their math. I’ve watched as their eyes light up when they get a word right or are praised for a job well done with reading or coloring or speaking English so well. What a blessing to be able to spend my entire day loving on children?! What a blessing to be able to spend my entire day hugging my kids?! What a blessing to be able to spend my entire day encouraging kids as they read and sound out words and add six plus five?! On Thursday morning I had coffee with a friend of mine and didn’t get to the school until around 1 pm. As I was greeted by Marriet, one of my new friends, she told me she had been waiting for me all morning because she wanted to read books with me. How awesome is that?!

I will be honest in saying that I often times compare myself with others and have felt as though I wasn’t doing any good in Uganda because I wasn’t rescuing starving children or pulling people off the streets. But I think I’ve realized this week more than ever that hugging children that don’t have parents, reading books with kids that have never been read to before bed and telling kids that they are smart, beautiful and loved is equally important in God’s eyes. I don’t need to be pulling starving kids off the streets to serve God and I don’t need to go looking for ways to serve him. He has blessed me with dozens of children at my feet and there are endless ways to serve them. These children need to know how dearly loved they are by God. These children need to know that they are beautiful, intelligent and absolutely precious, and I consider myself blessed to be able to deliver that message.

Brussels Airport Again

I find myself once again updating my blog from the Brussels airport. I am on my way back to Uganda after having spent the past seven weeks at home, and I would be lying if I said it was easy to leave. Home was wonderful and thanks to the volcano I was able to spend an addition week at home where I truly did rest and relax (unlike the previous six weeks).

Leaving home was harder than I thought. I know that I love Uganda. I know that I want to go back. I know there is work to be done at Nkumba. All that said, home is a place of peace, rest, comfort and a place where I feel truly loved. I am not sure I ever truly knew how blessed I was by my incredible, loving, absolutely amazing family, friends and community in Chicago until I left on this journey. For that I am grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to see how blessed I am. I am grateful for all the people that speak words of love, affirmation, encouragement and truth to me. Leaving those people and my amazing community was not easy, but I know now more than ever that despite my location, my friends, family and community are 100% behind me on this adventure and will be waiting when I return. Thank you God for this. I do not deserve this; this is a gift from you.

Earlier today I was reading through Mark and a passage that I have read several times all of a sudden stood out to me. In Mark 1:16 – 20, Jesus calls his first disciples:

“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’ At once they left their nets and followed him. When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.”

I have read this passage before and have never spent more than a minute with it, but today it spoke to me in a different light. Simon, Andrew, James and John were all called by Jesus to follow him and all four dropped what they were doing and did exactly that – they followed him. They followed Jesus. Just like that, they dropped what they were doing to follow him. What they didn’t do was question Jesus; the exact thing I do everyday. They didn’t ask why. They didn’t ask Jesus what they would do for food. They didn’t ask Jesus where they were going or where they would stay. They didn’t hesitate. They left their family, their home and their jobs to follow Jesus.

How often I want these questions answered before I am willing to follow him. “Jesus I’ll go but I need to figure out housing first.” “Jesus I’ll go but I need to save a little more money first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I need to know where we are going first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I don’t think the timing is good right now, maybe in a little bit when I feel more comfortable.” I could go on with a laundry list of stipulations and concerns I feel I need to work out before I follow Jesus. But here we read about four men that just followed Him. And that is where I want to be. I want to follow Jesus despite having all my questions and concerns answered. I want to keep my eyes so focused on him that my love, trust and faith in him prevail.

I may have left my family and friends in Chicago and followed Jesus to Africa but would I follow him if he called me out of Uganda? What if he asked me to follow him to an unknown place in Uganda? What if he asks me to serve people I don’t know? Would I follow him if he led me to work in a community where I knew nobody? Would I choose to follow him despite the fear and worry I may feel? I want to say yes. I want to be able to say that I would follow Jesus like Simon, Andrew, James and John did, without any hesitation, but I am not sure I would. I pray that as I continue on this crazy journey called life that I would grow in my faith and devotion to Jesus, that I would trust in his goodness, love and faithfulness with all that I have and not rely on what I know to be true but on him alone. I pray that we all would reach this point. I pray that we would choose to follow Jesus everyday, everywhere despite our fears, anxieties and comforts.

Home.

Home is amazing.

I came back to Chicago four weeks ago with very little planned except visiting family and friends. I am not sure who I think am, but I half expected to be bored during this visit with a lot of time on my hands to read and relax. Clearly I need a reality check. With two weeks left of my trip, I feel like I am going to need a week to rest before heading back to Uganda. This trip has been absolutely amazing and the complete opposite of boring. In fact, I have been running around non-stop, from place to place and loving every minute of it.

The truth is that I have never felt so loved by family and friends in my entire life. I know you come to miss your friends and family when you spend time away from them and typically you get a deeper sense of appreciation for them when you spend months without them, but I could never have fathomed the feeling of being reunited with them. I know this – God is good and God is Love and I see and feel it every moment. I look around at these people who have such a deep and real love for me and I can barely grasp it, it is hard for me to understand their love. But then I think about how their love is a sliver, a tiny fraction of the love God has for each of us and I’m blown away and overwhelmed by the thought. I need to spend more time thinking and praying about that truth. I know our human minds will never be able to understand and comprehend the love our Father has for us, but there is power and freedom in mediating on that truth.

I may go back to Uganda a bit physically and mentally exhausted but I am going back emotionally and spiritually renewed. I have spent endless hours with genuine, loving, wise people over the past four weeks and have had some of the most powerful and amazing conversations of my life.

I leave for Arizona on Monday and am absolutely thrilled about visiting the friends and ministry partners down there. It is truly amazing to be in the company of people that have a similar vision and passion.

And with all that said, April 16^th will be a good day – the day when I am back with my kids and friends in Uganda. I miss them. I miss them all dearly and cannot wait to be covered in kids, several beautiful, laughing, joyful kids.

As I wrap up the entry I will leave you with a few prayer requests.

Please pray for Sharif. I have written about Sharif in previous entries. He is my dear boy who keeps running away from the school and going to Kampala. Please pray that Sharif would realize the love and care we all have for him at the school. Please pray that any anger or anxiety he feels would be lifted. Please pray that my role in his life would be made clear and that God would give me wisdom on how to work with Sharif during this hard time. I have never been a parent and I really do not know how to handle this situation.

Second, as time goes on and my life becomes more and more involved in Uganda, I will soon reach a point when I need to raise financial support to be able to continue living there. My savings is nearly depleted but I am not worried. I know God will provide. Please pray that I would have discernment over raising support and wisdom on how to spend the money entrusted to me.

Thirdly, please pray for our community. Please pray that we would be able to continue to meet the needs of our people, both physically and spiritually, we live near. Currently we have a large need to expand our church building. We have outgrown our church space and have nowhere to meet as a congregation. Please pray that the funds would come through for us to be able to double our space and bring in new people.

Lastly, please pray for Uganda as a whole. Please pray for the leaders in government, police, church leaders and people of influence. Please pray for their wisdom and guidance in leading the people of Uganda. Please pray that Uganda would be protected from violence and war and that God’s hand would be guiding us all.

Thank you all my dear friends and family.

God is Amazing!

I look back on my last post and cannot believe it has been over a month. I clearly need to update this more often. Over the last month I have thought of several things I would like to blog about, but the truth is that I am a bit intimidated to share. I cannot figure out if this is more of an update of what I am doing, my day-to-day living or if this is a space where I share my feelings, the hardships I am experiencing – more of an online journal. I have decided that I am going to put myself out there and share how I am really doing, what life has been like over the past month and trust that those of you that read this will not judge me, but rather pray for me.

February was extremely difficult. That is the truth. February was filled with a lot of tears, a lot of doubt and a lot of fear. However, at the same time God provided more than I could ever had imagined at that time. When I decided to come to Uganda last summer, I had two main objectives. First, it was my desire to draw closer to God, to come to depend on Him for everything, to find myself in a place where all I had was God. The second was to serve God by serving the kids in Uganda. Well, I got exactly what I wanted. I found myself in a place where all I had was my God and it was a crazy emotional experience of pure desperation and absolute peace that God was in control. For over three weeks I would wake up each morning and immediately be overwhelmed with intense feelings of anxiety and loneliness. I felt like running. I felt like crying. I felt like God had abandoned me. I felt like God had blessed me with everything I could have ever asked for and then suddenly was taking it all away. I felt foolish. I felt like I was being attacked. I was counting down the days until I went home. I had quickly fallen in love with Uganda and truly felt like it was were I wanted to be for a long time but now all I wanted to do was go back to Chicago. I had met the love of my life, the man I want to marry but now all I wanted was my family and friends at home. I looked around and felt incredibly scared.

In a moment of desperation I emailed a few of my friends and family, and it is amazing how God used them in that moment. My dear friend challenged me to surrender to God. To surrender everything I had to Him. She challenged me to surrender my dreams, my past, my future, my fears and just cling to Him. She told me to picture myself sitting on God’s lap, me crying while He rubs my back, whispering that everything would be ok. I kept that image in my head all day, I prayed my way through the anxiety. I kept reminding myself that how I feel is not always an indication of the truth. Anxiety and loneliness are not of God and I know (regardless of how I feel) that I am never truly alone. God promises us that He is forever by our side. I took each moment as it came.

One particular night I was really struggling. Everything in my body was telling me to go home, to cry, to go to sleep but I had Bible club with some of the girls in high school so I went and God showed up in huge ways. We spent a lot of time in prayer that night. I had shared on Luke 15, the parable of the lost sheep and our value in God’s eyes. It is ironic how what I was sharing with the girls was the very thing I needed to hear for myself. I prayed that I would physically feel God’s arms around me. I prayed that I would know and feel with my heart that I am deeply loved and cherished by God. As Bible club ended, I joined some of our girls in the dorm. As I was sitting on the floor with girls sitting next to me, one of the little girls, Fatuma, was lying on me, with her arms around me and in that moment I looked down at this precious 9 year old little girl and it was as though I was looking at Jesus. As I looked at Fatuma I saw Jesus and He was holding me. I looked at Fatuma and felt in my heart that God deeply loved me. He used this little girl to hold me and it was amazing. I have never experienced anything like that in my life and it was truly incredible. I am so grateful for Fatuma, my dear little girl who was used by our God to meet me in an incredibly difficult place.

God is so good. He opened my eyes to what is of Him and what is of the Enemy. I know that my instinct to keep all of this to myself and not share my struggles with those I love is garbage and pure nonsense from the Enemy. God wants us to pour out our struggles to Him and turn to our community for prayer and support.

I am now in the Brussels airport on my way home and cannot believe it is March 4^th already. God is amazing. I am in awe of His goodness. I am in awe of His love. I am in awe of His provision. I am in awe of His compassion.

Now, I am fully aware that this entry is getting a bit long but I have to share one more story. Last week on of the kids at our school, Sharif, ran away from the school and went to Kampala. Sharif is around ten years old and spent several years on the streets before being brought to our school late last year. I have developed a special bond with Sharif and was absolutely heart-broken when he left last week. However, it wasn’t the first time it had happened and I knew we couldn’t force him to come back so I had to trust that God was protecting him and would bring him back sometime. On Monday, about 4 days after Sharif left, I went to Kampala to visit with one of my friends who runs a program for street children. It is an amazing ministry and one I hope to get more involved with over the next coming months. When I showed up, I found my sweet, dear boy Sharif there. He had been on the streets for several days, was covered in dirt, had on no shoes and had clearly been doing drugs. He greeted me with a huge smile and quietly asked if I would take him back. My heart leapt for joy. I was so excited. We moved around the city getting him new school shoes (his were stolen) and getting dinner. The night was absolutely exhausting and as we headed home in a taxi (more like a city bus), Sharif collapsed on my lap and slept the entire 90-minute ride home. As I looked down on my sweet boy I was overcome with an intense feeling of peace and love. This is exactly where I want to be. As we pulled up to the school we found a few kids outside and as Roger (an incredible boy and Sharif’s friend), ran up to Sharif and gave him a huge bear hug, lifting him off the ground. I felt like I was witnessing my own version of the Return of the Prodigal Son. Sharif had run away. He had left all the good things of the school – food, shelter, love, and clothes and went to the streets to drugs, no food, nowhere to sleep and no one to care for him. But as he returned, it didn’t matter, our dear, sweet boy was back and it was time for rejoicing!

I still have feelings of anxiety and loneliness but I know that God is with me and Uganda is where He has me. I will go home to Chicago if it is God’s will but I will not go back because of fear or loneliness, that would be playing into the Enemy’s evil plan. I knew that if I showed up in Uganda, willing to serve God that He would use me and I still feel that way now. God is using me and despite the struggles, I am going to choose to seek Him with all I have and hold as many children as possible in the process.

International Shipping

Friends -

Here is more accurate information on shipping to Uganda. I would recommend the Priority mail Flat Rate Envelope (the first one) or the Small Flat Rate Box (second one).

Thanks so much!

Cara

http://www.usps.com/prices/priority-mail-international-prices.htm

Priority Mail Flat Rate International Options (Retail Prices)

	Canada / Mexico	All other countries	Size
Priority Mail Flat Rate Envelope* (up to 4 pounds)	$11.45	$13.45	12-1/2'' x 9-1/2''
Priority Mail Small Flat Rate Box* (up to 4 pounds)	$11.45	$13.45	8-5/8" x 5-3/8" x 1-5/8"
Priority Mail Regular Flat Rate Box (FRB-1) (up to 20 pounds)	$26.95	$43.45	11" x 8-1/2" x 5-1/2"
Priority Mail Regular Flat Rate Box (FRB-2) (up to 20 pounds)	$26.95	$43.45	13-5/8" x 11-7/8" x 3-3/8"
Priority Mail Large Flat Rate Box (up to 20 pounds)	$33.95	$55.95	12" x 12" x 5-1/2"

Overwhelmed

As I think about the past few weeks I cannot help but feel completely overwhelmed. God is so good. I know that God works for the good of His people. I know that God provides us with more blessings than we could ever ask for. I know God’s love for us surpasses all human understanding. I know God uses His people to do His work.

I know all of these things to be true, yet when so many blessings and answered prayers are fulfilled in a short time, I can’t help but think “Really?” I know God is capable of doing huge, amazing, wonderful things but it is hard to comprehend when everything seems to hit at once.

I suppose the craziness started with our annual pastor and leaders conference. For the third year, a team of 16 people from the U.S. came to Nkumba to lead over 1600 pastors, women, children, community leaders and businessmen in a weeklong conference. Nothing could prepare me for this conference. It was absolutely amazing. The team from the U.S. was incredible. I am having a hard time finding words to describe how I feel about these wonderful, Godly, genuine, authentic, AWESOME people. For five days the team taught on dozens of topics, prayed with hundreds of people and engaged in the lives of over 1600 people.

I think equally as important as the sessions the team led are the ways they connected and fulfilled prayers on a personal level for the people in our community. I saw the eyes light up in one of our kids as the team gave him a new shirt to replace the dirty, torn shirt he had been wearing for several days. I witnessed three little girls dance in joy as they were given beautiful new dresses from the team. I saw one of the team members carefully tend to a precious little girl with a horribly burned finger. I saw the love in the team member’s eyes as she scraped away the dirt and cleaned the wound of precious Sobla. Sobla is now one of my dear little friends who I visit everyday and do my best to care for her little finger as it heals. God used these incredible people to change the lives of hundreds in our community.

I have to share one other incredible story that took place during the conference. I have shared before about my dear friend Aunt Rose. Aunt Rose is an amazing, Godly woman that cares for over 7 children and truly trusts God with all that she has. Recently it has become my dream for Aunt Rose to finish her schooling in nursing. Currently Aunt Rose is a teacher at a nearby school but she shared with me a few months ago her passion for nursing and how she started the schooling but due to the cost of tuition, she was not able to complete the courses. I began to think how amazing it would be if Aunt Rose was able to finish her nursing courses and then become our school nurse. In a casual conversation with two of our guests from Arizona, I shared my dream for Aunt Rose (it was the first time I had talked about it). I promise you not twenty minutes later those same two people asked if they could pay for Aunt Rose’s tuition for nursing school!!! I almost feel out of my chair. God is so good. I am 100% confident that because of our guests and Aunt Rose, our world will forever be changed for the better and the angels in heaven are having a party over the faithfulness and generosity of our dear guests.

Since the conference I have received wonderful news that my dear friends in Chicago threw a party and raised $1000 for another party for our kids. God is so good. He continues to amaze me. Also, we received information about a doctor in Uganda that can perform a crucial surgery for one of our children.

I could write another several pages on the ways God has worked in our community this past month but I’ll leave those stories for another entry. I’ll leave you with a bit of information for those of you who are interested in sending care packages.

If you send packages, only send what can fit in a large padded envelope and declare the value is $10. You can get large international flat rate envelopes at the post office and can put all you can fit into them and sent to Africa for $18 (only send Airmail!!). You can send it to:

Cara Murray

P.O. Box 82

Entebbe, Uganda

Here are a few ideas of what to send: bandaids (all sizes are needed), coloring books, crayons, flashcards, nail polish (you can get it $1/bottle at Target), earrings (Forever 21 has 12 pair for $3.80, stud earrings only), nail clippers (seems odd but for hygiene reasons we cut nails often) Crystal Light/Propel packets to add to water (generic brand is perfect as well – I have found these helpful when kids need to take medicine), Uno cards, jump ropes and DVDs (used are great – Disney movies would be perfect or any kids movies).

Christmas In Uganda...

Was wonderful.

While it is hard being away from my family and friends, I feel extremely blessed to have shared Christmas with my friends and family here. We started the Christmas celebration last Sunday at church. The Sunday prior Pastor John has asked everybody to write down a person in the church who they thought deserved a gift for Christmas. He encouraged us to think of the people who go above and beyond in their service to others. This past Sunday we gave out gifts to over 20 people and it was amazing. As each person was called to the front, the entire church cheered and people hugged each other. The sense of family and community in this church is so strong. It is always a blessing to be in the presence of true, heartfelt joy and gratitude.

Then Wednesday we had the opportunity to hand out food to over 60 adults and 40 children in our community. We met in the church, Pastor shared the Word, we worshipped and then handed out the gifts. We were able to give out soap, rice, sugar, corn and salt. It was wonderful to be part of such a celebration. I was again amazed at people’s genuine gratitude and joy.

Christmas day was wonderful. Like Christmas in the US, the day began with church and was then followed by a big meal. However, unlike Christmas dinner in the US, we shared our meal with over 40 people, including 20 children. It was truly amazing. We brought van loads of kids from the orphanage to the house, the women that stay with the kids at the school came, friends from the community joined us and we all indulged ourselves in a fabulous meal. We were extremely blessed with support from several friends in the US and were able to buy all the food the kids love. There was no posho and beans. We ate matooke, 2 types of rice, potatoes, beef, chicken and chiapatti. To top it all off, we also served soda with the meal. One of my favorite parts of the day was when the kids were eating their meal. They all shared their food, giving their friends the food they didn’t want, trading matooke for rice and tasting each other’s sodas. It was truly a feast and one that I am sure made God smile.

The kids went back to the school for a day of movies and the rest of us relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company.

Like I have mentioned before, the way this community lives out the Gospel by serving each other and working together as the Church is truly amazing. They operate in true community and I absolutely love that I am able to be a part of it. I see the way this community operates and my heart aches for all church families to act the same way. I see God being glorified in their joyous, generous hearts and I am know that God is teaching me His ways through this community.

Christmas Means Freedom

My favorite author is Brennan Manning. There is no question about it. Each time I read his books I feel like it was written for me. Earlier this year the pastor of my church in Chicago recommended a Brennan Manning book called, “The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus.” I read it before I came to Uganda and am so glad I brought it with me. Out of my two bags and 100 pounds that I brought, all the Brennan Manning books made the cut. The last section of this book focuses on the significance of Christmas and what the birth of Christ means to us. In one of the last chapter called, “Christmas Means Freedom, “ Manning writes:

“The wailing Infant bears witness to a God whose Word is fresh and alive, who is not the defender of the old, the already-settled, the well-established and familiar. The God we encounter in Jesus is free from preoccupation with His own glory, free to be for us, free to be gracious, free to love and let be.

This Christmas such a God might well expect us to be creatively responsive and thus truly Christlike. Indeed, He might call us to set free captives bound by loneliness and isolation, to share our hope with prisoners of gloom and despair, to invite the unlovely to our table, to celebrate our freedom in forgetfulness about our comfort and convenience, to cry the Gospel by ministering to widows and orphans, to be the church by bringing soup to the poor, to ignore conventional expectations, to call His Son out of Egypt once more.”

I get the sense that we are on the verge of a major change in our Church. I have had several discussions with friends and family over the need to ‘think-outside-the-box’ and challenge the conventional ways of doing things. I think Christmas is the perfect time to start making those changes. I know many people take time to serve the poor and buy gifts for those in need during the holidays and I think that is great. However, with that said, those things are often times secondary to everything else we do for Christmas. They are secondary to gifts, grab bags, turkeys, holiday parties and cookies. I think this year we need to switch the order and make Christmas primarily about the exact things Jesus did while He was on Earth. He spent time with lepers, widows, the lonely, the children and the hopeless.

I wonder why more people don’t spend their Christmas doing these things. Are they worried they won’t get the new shoes they’ve been waiting for or new set of tools? Are they worried it won’t ‘feel like Christmas’? What would it be like to visit a nursing home on Christmas and decorate cookies with those that have no visitors? What would it be like to bring Christmas dinner to a family without food? What would it be like to walk the streets of Chicago and hand out gloves and hats to those living on the streets? I actually know the answers to these questions – it would be absolutely amazing. I think if people did it once they would never go back.

I pray that this Christmas we would look to Jesus first, focus on the freedom that comes with the naked, humble, vulnerable baby in the manger. Jesus wasn’t known for doing things the traditional way, so why should we?

Broken Hearted

It has been a long time since I last wrote. There are many things I want to share but I have failed to take the time to sit down and share them.

Before I moved to Uganda I read Richard Stearns book, “The Hole in Our Gospel” and absolutely loved it. Richard Stearns is the President of World Vision and in his book he shares countless stories of his encounters with the widows, orphans and poor from around the world. I could write several blog entries on this book as it is filled with great insight and amazing stories.

In the very beginning of his book, Stearns quotes a prayer from Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision. It says, “Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” As I have taken time over the past few weeks to think about this quote, I have realized the true weight and implication of it. While it absolutely terrifies me to think about having my heart broken, I think it is far worse not have my heart broken. I think one of the worse things that can happen to us is to become immune or desensitized by the atrocities in this world. I pray that I would never become desensitized to seeing children go several days without food. I pray that I would never become desensitized to seeing a 3-year old girl scream as her mom drops her off at the orphanage because she can no longer care for her. I pray that I would never become desensitized to child-led households. I pray that I would never become desensitized to hearing about polygamist fathers and their 5 wives and several children that they do not care for. I pray that I would never become desensitized to taking children to the clinic for malaria, typhoid and other diseases. I pray that I would never become desensitized to seeing kids have nowhere to go over the holidays because they have no parents or relatives. These things are the very things that break the heart of God and I think it is absolutely detrimental that we never get use to them. For when we get to use to them, we will stop acting and that cannot happen.

I am terrified to have my heart broken but I choose that over the alternative. I trust that when my heart is broken by what I see here, that God will mend it and will carry me. This is what needs to happen. God’s heart is broken over the 26,000 people that die every day of hunger or its related causes. God’s heart is broken over the 1 of 4 children in developing countries that are underweight. God’s heart is broken over the 854 million people that do not have enough food to sustain them. God’s heart is broken by the 2.6 billion people (40% of the world’s population) that live on less than $2 a day. God’s heart is broken over the 33 million people that are infected with HIV, 70% of them living in Africa. God’s heart is broken over the fact that in Africa, only 59 percent of children attend school and only one in three will complete primary school.

All of these people are children of God. They are all precious treasures in His eyes and I pray that I would see each person as He does. I pray that people all over the world would have their hearts broken over the things that break God’s heart. I pray that those people would trust God with their broken heart and take this Christmas season to reflect about what they can do to love and serve the widows, orphans, fatherless and poor.

Needing God's Wisdom

I’m sorry it has been awhile since I last wrote. This week was great and flew by just like the rest. I will say however, that the week started out on a difficult note and left me with a lot to think about.

Last Monday, Julius (my co-worker) and I took one of our kids to the clinic for a check-up. Derrick is 13 years old and is HIV positive. Upon arriving at the clinic we were met by his counselor who informed us that they would not be giving Derrick any more medication because he had refused to take the medication they had given him before. She went on to tell us that he has wasted hundreds of dollars in medication and that his grandmother refuses to allow him to take the medication they give him. After going to his grandmother’s house to ask about the medication, we learned that she does in fact refuse to let him take his medicine because she is scared of the side affects and thinks that medicine with side affects cannot be good for Derrick. We went back to the clinic and after a few more hours, discovered that the situation is extremely complicated and frustrating. Derrick has told several counselors at the clinic stories about not being fed, not having money for school fees and other nonsense. Derrick is sponsored by the school and has plenty to eat. In fact he gets a special diet and takes food home with him. At the end of the day the details of the lies don’t matter, it only matters that a 13-year-old boy who is sick with HIV is so messed up that he is lying to the only people trying to help him. Julius and I left extremely frustrated with the situation. It makes me sad and angry. I am sad that we live in such a broken world, and I am angry that I don’t know what to do. We can’t ignore Derrick, we can’t leave him to be on his own, but at the same time how do you help somebody who leads you in circles with lies and inaccurate information?

This is just one story but there are many more. The kids here are broken. It is really hard not to get mad at Derrick and say that we won’t spend out time on such kids, but the truth of the matter is that Derrick is one of God’s children and grace says that while he doesn’t deserve our help and love, we will provide it to him regardless. Derrick needs love and I pray and trust that God would give me wisdom on how to love Derrick.

A few new roommates

It is 8:30 am, I've been up for over an hour drinking tea and relaxing as the house is slowly waking up. It is wonderful.

This past week I moved into Pastor John's house with him and his family and it is slightly different than my previous living situation. For the past month I have been renting a small one room apartment but now I live with Pastor John, his wife Esther, their 4 children (Caleb age 4, Cephus age 3, Karissa age 2 and Chloe age 6 weeks), John's cousin Julius (I work with him a lot), 4 teenage boys that attend our school and 4 other younger boys. Also, another American has arrived and is staying here. One of the boy's mothers has been here for the past 2 days and the visitors from the US are still here. So I went to living by myself to having 19 roommates in a few short hours. Not the typical living situation but it is very cool to see how this family operates. Everybody helps out, nobody complains and they seem to truly enjoy each other. I have no doubt that if 4 more people showed up they would make room. Then they would proceed to feed them and love them well.

I share this because in June I got a small glimpse of this and it really affected me. I think this is such a clear depiction of the gospel being lived out. What a beautiful picture, that anybody and everybody is welcome?!

There is something else that is pretty amazing about this place. When I got up at 7:15 am today, one of the older boys was wiping down the floor in the kitchen, another boy was ironing and soon after a few of the younger boys were sweeping the lawn (TIA - This is Africa). The attitude towards service is unlike anything I have ever seen. They truly serve and love so well. I pray I adopt this attitude towards service.

Small observation - huge implications

This past week has been extremely busy as we have visitors in from the US. The wife, Vicki, has been staying with us while her husband and son have been doing work a few hours away. We have taken Auntie Vicki (what the kids call her) all over, introducing her to the kids, women in the community and taking her to a few tourist places in Kampala.

This past Monday, Auntie Vicki and I had dinner with Auntie Rose. Auntie Rose lives on the church property and her and I have become very close over the past month. Auntie Rose is absolutely amazing. She makes a very small income as a teacher but has taken in 6 children. 4 of the children are sponsored so there is a little relief from food as they are fed through the school, but she cooks for them, buys them clothes, cares for them when they are sick and most importantly shows love to them everyday - she is wonderful.

Dinner with Auntie Rose was great. We ate a huge feast with all the kids and spent hours enjoying each other.

The next day I asked Auntie Vicki if she had a good time the night before. She told me that she was a bit overwhelmed with Auntie Rose's generosity and hospitality. She said, "In the US we give out of excess and Auntie Rose gives out of sacrifice."

It is Thursday night and I am still thinking about that. It is absolutely true. Auntie Rose truly gives out of a joyful heart regardless of how much she has. She has very little, lives in a small 2 room house, sometimes has 10 people sleeping under her roof and feeds any person that comes into her house. I have a lot to learn from Auntie Rose and I am so grateful to have several more months with her.

Auntie Vicki's statement is so true and I think has huge implications. In my mind the big difference between those that give out of excess and those that give out of sacrifice is trust. It doesn't require trusting Jesus if we give out of excess but it takes tremendous trust in Jesus to give out of sacrifice. It requires us to trust that while we give what little we have, He will provide more. It requires trusting that loving people and sharing what you have with others is more important than keeping all you have for yourself in the event you may need it in the future. I definitely have a lot to learn and pray that God would be patient and persistent with me.

As a thank you for the dinner, Auntie Vicki wanted to buy Auntie Rose some food since she couldn't have her over to her house in St. Louis. It was incredible. We spent about $70 and probably bought enough food for 2 or 3 weeks. We bought rice, sugar, tea, onions, tomatoes, beans, cooking oil and soap. We also bought her a lantern since using a candle each night to do homework can be very dangerous (especially with 5 kids running around a very small space).

We brought the food to Auntie Rose last night and I have no doubt that she will turn around and use that food to feed others.

This is why I love it here - because of people like Auntie Rose.

TIA - This Is Africa!

I haven’t written in awhile and I feel like there is so much I want to share. Over the past two weeks a lot has happened.

I have made over 10 trips to the clinic with either sick kids or visiting those that that had been admitted overnight. First there was Angel, my little shadow, she had Malaria. After Angel there was Moses and Fidi, her cousin and sister. Moses had Malaria and is also severely underweight and malnourished. Fidi had to be de-wormed and had an infection on her scalp. Then there was Hasifah who had Malaria and a horrible allergic reaction to the medicine. A few days later I took Roger to the clinic in the morning for Malaria and later that night after Bible club I took his sister, Gift, to the clinic as well for Malaria. Yesterday I took Fidi back to the clinic for Malaria and due to the severity; she had to be admitted overnight.

Tuesday after I took Roger to the clinic I decided to bring my IPOD with when I went to Gift as a distraction for her as the doctor pricked her finger. I am happy to report that it worked. Gift was completely preoccupied when they drew blood. When we got home later I watched as each child was in utter amazement as they put on the headphones and music came out - they couldn’t believe it. They patiently shared and sang and danced as the songs came on. It may sound weird but it was so cool to see, I felt like I was in a different world. I can’t think of a child in America that hasn’t seen an IPOD and here were 5 kids having a blast over something we consider so common.

Also, over the past two weeks Bible club has started and it was been wonderful. Since there are so many girls, I split them up by age this week and had Bible Club 3 times this week. Holidays are coming up and many of the kids are going home to be with family but I am so excited for their return. I am confident that God is going to work in mighty ways through the Bible clubs. I think we will study women in the Bible when they return and then tackle the ever-so-fun topic of sex, boys and relationships. I know they are talking and thinking about it so it is time to take a look at it from a Biblical perspective. This particular topic is going to require a lot of preparation and even more prayer.

Now that I have written a book, I want to share a story. There is an expression we use here; This is Africa, or TIA. I said TIA probably 20 times this past Saturday. I was invited to the wedding introduction of two people that have quickly become my good friends here. Their wedding isn’t until next year but the introduction was Saturday. Here in Uganda, the wedding introduction is a very important tradition in which the bride-to-be is formally introducing her soon-to-be-husband to her family.

I had been told that we had a long journey ahead of us, as the introduction would take place in the western part of Uganda. The craziness started at 3 am on Saturday morning when I arrived at the school to meet everybody else that would be going as well.

I was told there would be around 13 of us going on this journey but upon arriving at the school, I noticed that there were a few more people coming. By the time we left and headed to the western part of Uganda, it was 4:30 am and there were 19 of us in a small, 15-passenger van. TIA. Nobody seemed to mind that for the next 9 hours we would be literally sitting on top of each other. While it was suppose to be a 9-hour trip, we arrived safely to the introduction a full 11 hours after we left.

At one point during our journey we stopped for a bite to eat. As we pulled over to the side of the road, people from all directions came up to the van, trying to sell us water, newspapers, bananas and meat on a stick. I opted for a few cookies – I know better than to get meat on a stick in a rural village in Uganda – that could have made for a very long journey. We also ate pineapple but since it was so sticky and dripping everywhere, I decided to open the window and hang my outside as we continued to drive. Please take a minute and try to picture that. I am in a small van with 18 other people, I have been literally sitting on top of one of the teachers from the school and now I am hanging my head out of the window as we drive down the road. Seriously I felt like I was in a movie. TIA.

The introduction itself was wonderful. I was dressed in a traditional, Ugandan dress and am convinced the children from the village had never seen a white person before. I truly felt like an alien – they were whispering, pointing and running everywhere to get their friends.

4 hours after the introduction started, it ended and without any hesitation we got back in our miniature van and headed home. This time we had 2 extra passengers to make it 20 adults and a 2-year old little girl. We drove for another 9 hours back, over the same road, with the same broken window that allowed a nice freezing cold wind to come into the van, and the same small seat that I shared with one of the teachers at the school. He didn’t know it but he quickly became my pillow. It’s funny that after you share a seat with somebody for 9 hours, you surprisingly feel a closeness to them. There is something about that experience that just brings you together.

I could write for another several paragraphs but will hold off for now and write more soon.

Things here continue to be great and I love being here. I posted a few pictures on facebook and hope to post more soon.

I will again leave you with a few prayer requests:

Health – staff members, students and small kids are falling sick left and right. Please pray that God would heal their bodies, bring them peace and keep us healthy.

Exams – the students are all taking exams right now and many of the high school students are stressed and exhausted. Some of them get up at 3 or 4 am to study and after dinner they continue for another few hours.

Holidays – a part from a few kids, all the students that live at the school will be going home this week and will not return until January – February for the next term. Please pray that God would keep them close to Him during this time and protect them. Each of these children are going home to different family situations, some of which are incredibly sad. Please pray for the kids that are staying at the school. These are our kids that truly have nobody to go home to or it is unsafe for them to return home. Pray that they would not feel abandoned or lonely during the next few months.

Personal – please pray that God would continue to keep me healthy and safe. Things are going so well but I am starting to feel a bit tired and rundown. Please pray that I would remain close to God and continue to rely on His strength and guidance.

More to come soon!

What a crazy 48 hours!!!

I have been wanting to write about last weekend for awhile now but haven't found the time until now. Last weekend was absolutely crazy, so much going on but I loved every minute of it. It started out early Saturday morning with the weekly laundry and cleaning. By 10 am I was at the school and off with one of our staff members to meet a few families that live close to the school and have children that are in our sponsorship program. It was so great meeting them and since then I have been back to visit them, making sure they are all ok. I truly love meeting the families and spending time with them, it is a great way to serve and get to know our children a bit better.

After the few visits, I headed back to the school for lunch and played with kids for the afternoon. After returning from internet cafe around 6 pm, one of the little girls, Angel, had a horrible fever and was crying. She isn't in our sponsorship program but lives next to the school and she has quickly become my shadow, following me around everywhere. In fact just yesterday she told me (she is 3 years old) that her and I are going to America, she doesn't want to stay here anymore but wants to come with me. Last Saturday night I took her mom and her to the clinic to get tested for Malaria. Her mom is so sweet but very young and really didn't know what to do with such a sick child. We got her medicine and I'm glad to report she is completely fine now.

Sunday started out with Sunday school at 8 am followed by church at 9 am. After having lunch with the kids at school, I brought 7 of them back to my apartment (remember it is really just one room that is about 12x12). Angel was of course with us and proceeded to spill her Fanta twice within 5 minutes of being there. We had soda, ate cake, painted nails, played outside, colored and put the pictures on my wall and had an absolutely blast. Angel did manage to get a bloody nose 5 times while we were there but all the kids helped out, getting tissues and the waste basket. It was truly a great day.

We returned back to the school, had dinner and played. Another one of my favorite little girls, Yvette, ended up falling asleep in my arms - it was another slice of heaven. That is until she wet herself on me - but all I could do was laugh at that point.

The week ended up being just as busy as the weekend and I was often in bed before 10 pm. I ended up going back to the clinic several times with a few sick children, including a little baby that is severely malnourished. Moses is about 1 years old but can't weigh more than a 6-month old. He lives in the same house as Angel and also had Malaria this week. I took him and his mother to the clinic to both treat the Malaria and also the malnourishment.

I am continually grateful for my time here. God is so good. Each day brings something I didn't plan for but in true Ugandan spirit, I am learning to go with it.

I will hopefully have internet later this week and will be able to post updates more regularly.

I will leave you with this: Tugende means we go in Luganda. Angel told me Tugende America.

Love you all.

Update---

As I write I am watching my dear friend Juliet cook by candlelight – only in Uganda. The power is out again but it isn’t stopping us, we’re listening to great music, cooking and having a wonderful time. I love it here.

From the minute I arrived it was so clear that this is exactly where I want to be. After 3 flights, 6 airplane meals and a full 24 hours of traveling I was greeted at the airport by Gift, Roger, Brian and Sarah – the children I love so much. I am convinced I experienced a bit of heaven right then and there.

In the few days I have been here I have taught the kids how to play Baci ball with rocks (this was fun for about 10 minutes until rocks were flying everywhere), been told by a friend that I have gained weight since June (that was awesome), taught the children how to blow kisses and on any given day held over 20 children in my arms – and loved every minute.

I also had the opportunity to meet with Pastor John to discuss my responsibilities for my time here. Here are a few things he mentioned:
· Work with the teachers in the elementary school to help organize their schedules, student evaluations, etc
· Learn Luganda (this should prove interesting, it turns out they pronoun their R’s as L’s which explains why nobody can say Cara J
· Learn how to drive (again this should prove interesting, they drive on the other side of the road, there are more scooters than cars, people everywhere and no stoplights anywhere)
· Spend time with the high school girls, mentor, lead Bible studies – this I can do and am so excited. We have our first Bible club meeting on Thursday night.
· Work with the children that are sponsored by people in US – take them to the clinics, mentor, help with communication between the children and their sponsors
· Help plan an annual pastor’s conference in January

Within a week the list had grown and while my first instinct is to be completely overwhelmed, I am choosing to be grateful. What an amazing opportunity to be a part of this community?! There is no way I am capable of doing all of these things but I know that God is capable and I will make myself available to be used by Him.

I will end this entry by listing a few prayer requests for our kids:

· Brian Nyombi would like to attend a university in the US. We are going to sign him up for the SAT and help him apply at a few schools. Please pray that God would open doors for him. He is an absolutely amazing boy and a heart-wrenching story and this opportunity would be a wonderful gift for him.
· Sarah N – one of the kids Emily and I sponsor is behind in school. I don’t think she attended school when she was young and she is having a hard time catching up. I was just told she that she will need to repeat 3rd grade. Please pray for Sarah.
· Health of the children – it is the rainy season here and many children are sick with Malaria and other sicknesses. Please pray that God would protect their bodies and keep them safe and healthy.
· General well being of the children during their break from school. Many of the children that live at the school return to their families during their one-month break from school. Please pray that God would protect them and keep them well as many of these children will go home to very difficult situations.

Weebale Nyo – Thank you so much.

Wabale Nyo - Thank you so much!

I love it here! I have been here for just over a week and am consistently reminded of why I decided to return.

Last night I was in an office at the school looking at a few pictures on the computer, with me where 19 kids all huddled around the computer screen each screaming when they saw a picture of themself - it was hot, I had 3 kids on my lap and I was tired but I absolutely loved each minute.

This is just one bit of what my life now consists of - it is truly amazing and I am extremely grateful to be here. God is so good.

This week has been truly amazing and I feel extremely blessed by all the support and prayers of my friends and family back in the US. I would love to write more but have to run, time is up on my computer at the internet cafe. I will write more later.

LOVE YOU

Last Day of Work

I gave my notice at work 11 weeks ago and I remember thinking that my last day would never come. But here I am with only a few hours left, packing up my boxes and files and it feels like just yesterday when I told my boss that I would be leaving.

I am so excited for what is to come in the next few weeks but leaving my job is still hard. I have come to love so many people that I work with and am going to truly miss seeing them everyday. I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with this company and these amazing people for the last year and a half.

As many people know, I come become very close over the last year with a couple in Arizona that started an organization called Remember the Poor. Frank and Cindy May have been involved with Nkumba Ministries (organization I will be working with in Uganda) for years and through Remember the Poor started the child sponsorship program and funded several projects at the school. Earlier this week Cindy sent out a blog on my journey and a friend in Uganda that is coming to the US to help us build relationships and raise funds. The link is below:

http://rememberpoor.org/

I would encourage everybody to sign-up on their email list as they send out frequent updates on the status of projects, current needs and share wonderful stories of the kids and staff at Nkumba.

What a Blessing!

The last few years that I have spent in Chicago have been absolutely amazing. Words cannot describe how I feel right now as I reflect on my time in Chicago. I have spent endless hours exploring the city I have come to love. I have met some of my closest friends over the past few years and shared in countless experiences with them. But most importantly I have experienced God's love and grace through the people He has brought into my life. I truly believe that God has used the people in my life to speak truth and love to me - and for that I am forever grateful.

Thank you.

Update on the Well!

Good news - we have confirmed with experts in the water purification industry that Living Water is a good organization to use for digging the well. We had heard that several organizations will dig a well for a lower cost but that after a year there is a huge risk that the well may not be operating correctly, that the filtration system may be broken and the cost of repairing the well could be thousands of dollars. Hearing that Living Water is a reputable, trustworthy organization is wonderful news.

More good news - we are going to dig 2 wells for the school!

When I first got the news that we would need 2 wells for the school I was immediately discouraged. Instead of raising $10,000, we would now need to raise $24,000 and in my mind that was just too much. But as I began to think about it more, I realized a few things: 1) there are many people out there with generous, giving hearts that will support this goal, 2) God is good and will provide for His people and 3) nothing will be accomplished by worrying or stressing out.

God is fully capable of providing $24,000 for the wells and I need to believe that with all my heart. While I am fully aware that God works according to His time and not mine, I would still really love to have the wells dug by Christmas!

I will keep this updated as we learn more information.

Thank you all for your love, support and prayers.

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24

6 more weeks and counting!

The countdown has begun and October 15th is just around the corner! I want to first and foremost thank each of you for your prayers and support. I would not be able to do this without you - I feel extremely blessed by each of you.

Many of you have reached out to me with questions on ways you can support my move and I want to let you all know where I stand with raising support. Rather than raising support to cover my cost of living for the next year, I would like to raise money to dig a well for the school and community where I will be working and living. When I was visiting Uganda in June I noticed that not once during my 2-week trip did I see children drinking water. If you ask the staff what the children drink they will tell you that the children drink porridge. Porridge is their 10 am snack during school since most of the children don't have breakfast. The kids that go to the school where I will be working go all day without drinking water.

I don't have to tell any of you the serious health risks of dehydration or feel the need to list the horrible statistics of deaths related to lack of water, I think we all know how incredibly important and crucial water is for our well-being. Also, I don't know anybody that would let their own child go an entire day without drinking water or send their kids to a soccer game without a water bottle and in my mind if it isn't ok for our kids, then it shouldn't be ok for other kids to live under such circumstances.

I did a bit of research on the signs for dehydration and signs of malaria - as you can see from the chart below they have incredible similarities. My first day to Uganda a staff member and I took 3 kids to the clinic to be treated for Malaria and even then the kids didn't feel better for about 3-4 days. I can't help but wonder if those kids actually had Malaria or if they were just in desparate need of water.

Signs of dehydration:
· Weakness or fatigue
· Muscle soreness
· Headache
· Nausea

Signs of Malaria:
· Muscle aches
· Headaches
· Fatigue
· Nausea

The organization we will use to dig the well is Living Water (http://www.water.cc). The water will be purified and safe to drink straight from the well and will provide water to over 1300 students and staff daily.

I will make it one of my priorities when I get to Uganda to do education for the school staff, students and community on the importance of water. I am confident we will see a huge improvement in the lives of the children once we are able to get them safe drinking water.

It absolutely breaks my heart to think of kids not have water to drink after a soccer game or when they feel sick and have a fever. I live such a life of luxury that I cannot fathom such a life and so I ask that you would consider partnering with me on this mission. We have been in contact with Living Water and they estimated the cost would be around $10,000 for the well. I would absolutely love to have the money raised by October 15th and have the well dug by Christmas - what a fabulous gift that would be!If you are in the position to financially contribute to the cost of the well, there are 2 ways you can give:

1. Make a check out to Remember the Poor and mail it to me at 148 Circle Ridge Dr, Burr Ridge, IL 60527. I will then forward the checks on to the Remember the Poor bookkeeper in Washington
2. Visit www.rememberpoor.org and submit your gift via PayPal. Please make sure to note that the money is for the well project
   

Remember the Poor is a 501 c(3) organization that financially supports Nkumba Ministries, the organization I will be working with in Uganda. They will be able to process all donations and send a monthly wire to Uganda with the funds. For more information on Remember the Poor, please visit them at www.rememberpoor.org.

Thank you all so much! I will have access to the internet when I am in Uganda and will make sure to provide you all with regular updates.

With love,Cara