Brussels Airport Again

I find myself once again updating my blog from the Brussels airport. I am on my way back to Uganda after having spent the past seven weeks at home, and I would be lying if I said it was easy to leave. Home was wonderful and thanks to the volcano I was able to spend an addition week at home where I truly did rest and relax (unlike the previous six weeks).

Leaving home was harder than I thought. I know that I love Uganda. I know that I want to go back. I know there is work to be done at Nkumba. All that said, home is a place of peace, rest, comfort and a place where I feel truly loved. I am not sure I ever truly knew how blessed I was by my incredible, loving, absolutely amazing family, friends and community in Chicago until I left on this journey. For that I am grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to see how blessed I am. I am grateful for all the people that speak words of love, affirmation, encouragement and truth to me. Leaving those people and my amazing community was not easy, but I know now more than ever that despite my location, my friends, family and community are 100% behind me on this adventure and will be waiting when I return. Thank you God for this. I do not deserve this; this is a gift from you.

Earlier today I was reading through Mark and a passage that I have read several times all of a sudden stood out to me. In Mark 1:16 – 20, Jesus calls his first disciples:

“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’ At once they left their nets and followed him. When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.”

I have read this passage before and have never spent more than a minute with it, but today it spoke to me in a different light. Simon, Andrew, James and John were all called by Jesus to follow him and all four dropped what they were doing and did exactly that – they followed him. They followed Jesus. Just like that, they dropped what they were doing to follow him. What they didn’t do was question Jesus; the exact thing I do everyday. They didn’t ask why. They didn’t ask Jesus what they would do for food. They didn’t ask Jesus where they were going or where they would stay. They didn’t hesitate. They left their family, their home and their jobs to follow Jesus.

How often I want these questions answered before I am willing to follow him. “Jesus I’ll go but I need to figure out housing first.” “Jesus I’ll go but I need to save a little more money first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I need to know where we are going first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I don’t think the timing is good right now, maybe in a little bit when I feel more comfortable.” I could go on with a laundry list of stipulations and concerns I feel I need to work out before I follow Jesus. But here we read about four men that just followed Him. And that is where I want to be. I want to follow Jesus despite having all my questions and concerns answered. I want to keep my eyes so focused on him that my love, trust and faith in him prevail.

I may have left my family and friends in Chicago and followed Jesus to Africa but would I follow him if he called me out of Uganda? What if he asked me to follow him to an unknown place in Uganda? What if he asks me to serve people I don’t know? Would I follow him if he led me to work in a community where I knew nobody? Would I choose to follow him despite the fear and worry I may feel? I want to say yes. I want to be able to say that I would follow Jesus like Simon, Andrew, James and John did, without any hesitation, but I am not sure I would. I pray that as I continue on this crazy journey called life that I would grow in my faith and devotion to Jesus, that I would trust in his goodness, love and faithfulness with all that I have and not rely on what I know to be true but on him alone. I pray that we all would reach this point. I pray that we would choose to follow Jesus everyday, everywhere despite our fears, anxieties and comforts.