Brussels Airport Again

I find myself once again updating my blog from the Brussels airport. I am on my way back to Uganda after having spent the past seven weeks at home, and I would be lying if I said it was easy to leave. Home was wonderful and thanks to the volcano I was able to spend an addition week at home where I truly did rest and relax (unlike the previous six weeks).

Leaving home was harder than I thought. I know that I love Uganda. I know that I want to go back. I know there is work to be done at Nkumba. All that said, home is a place of peace, rest, comfort and a place where I feel truly loved. I am not sure I ever truly knew how blessed I was by my incredible, loving, absolutely amazing family, friends and community in Chicago until I left on this journey. For that I am grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to see how blessed I am. I am grateful for all the people that speak words of love, affirmation, encouragement and truth to me. Leaving those people and my amazing community was not easy, but I know now more than ever that despite my location, my friends, family and community are 100% behind me on this adventure and will be waiting when I return. Thank you God for this. I do not deserve this; this is a gift from you.

Earlier today I was reading through Mark and a passage that I have read several times all of a sudden stood out to me. In Mark 1:16 – 20, Jesus calls his first disciples:

“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’ At once they left their nets and followed him. When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.”

I have read this passage before and have never spent more than a minute with it, but today it spoke to me in a different light. Simon, Andrew, James and John were all called by Jesus to follow him and all four dropped what they were doing and did exactly that – they followed him. They followed Jesus. Just like that, they dropped what they were doing to follow him. What they didn’t do was question Jesus; the exact thing I do everyday. They didn’t ask why. They didn’t ask Jesus what they would do for food. They didn’t ask Jesus where they were going or where they would stay. They didn’t hesitate. They left their family, their home and their jobs to follow Jesus.

How often I want these questions answered before I am willing to follow him. “Jesus I’ll go but I need to figure out housing first.” “Jesus I’ll go but I need to save a little more money first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I need to know where we are going first.” “Jesus I’ll follow you but I don’t think the timing is good right now, maybe in a little bit when I feel more comfortable.” I could go on with a laundry list of stipulations and concerns I feel I need to work out before I follow Jesus. But here we read about four men that just followed Him. And that is where I want to be. I want to follow Jesus despite having all my questions and concerns answered. I want to keep my eyes so focused on him that my love, trust and faith in him prevail.

I may have left my family and friends in Chicago and followed Jesus to Africa but would I follow him if he called me out of Uganda? What if he asked me to follow him to an unknown place in Uganda? What if he asks me to serve people I don’t know? Would I follow him if he led me to work in a community where I knew nobody? Would I choose to follow him despite the fear and worry I may feel? I want to say yes. I want to be able to say that I would follow Jesus like Simon, Andrew, James and John did, without any hesitation, but I am not sure I would. I pray that as I continue on this crazy journey called life that I would grow in my faith and devotion to Jesus, that I would trust in his goodness, love and faithfulness with all that I have and not rely on what I know to be true but on him alone. I pray that we all would reach this point. I pray that we would choose to follow Jesus everyday, everywhere despite our fears, anxieties and comforts.

Home.

Home is amazing.

I came back to Chicago four weeks ago with very little planned except visiting family and friends. I am not sure who I think am, but I half expected to be bored during this visit with a lot of time on my hands to read and relax. Clearly I need a reality check. With two weeks left of my trip, I feel like I am going to need a week to rest before heading back to Uganda. This trip has been absolutely amazing and the complete opposite of boring. In fact, I have been running around non-stop, from place to place and loving every minute of it.

The truth is that I have never felt so loved by family and friends in my entire life. I know you come to miss your friends and family when you spend time away from them and typically you get a deeper sense of appreciation for them when you spend months without them, but I could never have fathomed the feeling of being reunited with them. I know this – God is good and God is Love and I see and feel it every moment. I look around at these people who have such a deep and real love for me and I can barely grasp it, it is hard for me to understand their love. But then I think about how their love is a sliver, a tiny fraction of the love God has for each of us and I’m blown away and overwhelmed by the thought. I need to spend more time thinking and praying about that truth. I know our human minds will never be able to understand and comprehend the love our Father has for us, but there is power and freedom in mediating on that truth.

I may go back to Uganda a bit physically and mentally exhausted but I am going back emotionally and spiritually renewed. I have spent endless hours with genuine, loving, wise people over the past four weeks and have had some of the most powerful and amazing conversations of my life.

I leave for Arizona on Monday and am absolutely thrilled about visiting the friends and ministry partners down there. It is truly amazing to be in the company of people that have a similar vision and passion.

And with all that said, April 16^th will be a good day – the day when I am back with my kids and friends in Uganda. I miss them. I miss them all dearly and cannot wait to be covered in kids, several beautiful, laughing, joyful kids.

As I wrap up the entry I will leave you with a few prayer requests.

Please pray for Sharif. I have written about Sharif in previous entries. He is my dear boy who keeps running away from the school and going to Kampala. Please pray that Sharif would realize the love and care we all have for him at the school. Please pray that any anger or anxiety he feels would be lifted. Please pray that my role in his life would be made clear and that God would give me wisdom on how to work with Sharif during this hard time. I have never been a parent and I really do not know how to handle this situation.

Second, as time goes on and my life becomes more and more involved in Uganda, I will soon reach a point when I need to raise financial support to be able to continue living there. My savings is nearly depleted but I am not worried. I know God will provide. Please pray that I would have discernment over raising support and wisdom on how to spend the money entrusted to me.

Thirdly, please pray for our community. Please pray that we would be able to continue to meet the needs of our people, both physically and spiritually, we live near. Currently we have a large need to expand our church building. We have outgrown our church space and have nowhere to meet as a congregation. Please pray that the funds would come through for us to be able to double our space and bring in new people.

Lastly, please pray for Uganda as a whole. Please pray for the leaders in government, police, church leaders and people of influence. Please pray for their wisdom and guidance in leading the people of Uganda. Please pray that Uganda would be protected from violence and war and that God’s hand would be guiding us all.

Thank you all my dear friends and family.